1. Understand your diagnosis

Infertility has numerous causes. Be sure your doctor explains why you are infertile and what the tests have shown. Knowing the cause (when possible) can help you understand what options are open to you.


2. Allow yourself to cry and be angry

You may feel a wide range of emotions after you and your partner are diagnosed as infertile. The period during which a couple undergoes fertility treatment is also emotionally difficult. It is often a time of uncertainty and frustration.

During these times, it is important to address your feelings. You should not "turn off" or ignore them. Know that it is okay to cry after hearing news of a friend or relative's pregnancy. Understand that you don't have to attend the birthday party your friend is throwing for her young child. Such feelings are normal, and there is no need to feel guilty when you experience them.


3. Allow partners to cope in their own way

People deal with their emotions differently. It is unfair to expect your partner to feel or act as upset as you are. On the other hand, it is also important for your partner to allow you to be upset and cope in your own special ways.


4. Turn to your friends and family for support

The physical and emotional toll of infertility can impact your professional and social lives. To avoid straining these relationships, be honest and up-front with your friends and family. Let them know of ways they can be helpful and supportive. Also tell them exactly how you wish to be treated.


5. Take steps to reduce stress

Infertility can cause stress for you and your partner. Infertile women typically have higher levels of stress than fertile women. Taking steps to reduce stress can help you feel better overall. Try to identify the triggers of stress. After you identify the factors that generate stress in your life, the easier it will be to avoid them and prevent stress in the future.


6. Research and discuss your options

It is important for you and your partner to research and discuss your treatment options. It is also important for you both to understand that treatment may be unsuccessful. At some point, you may find yourselves having to accept that conception is not going to occur, and that it is time to stop treatments and choose another option, such as adoption or child-free living.


7. Seek therapy if you need to

Although friends and family can provide support, you may want to talk with someone who has a better understanding of what you are going through. Many couples benefit from seeing an infertility counselor or a therapist. Attending a support group may also help you work through your feelings.